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In my Universe[1], I would let you slide on the muffler bearings, BUT the bacon stretcher is just taking things too far!
Repent your evil ways and use a bacon condenser instead.
Just think, put in 10 kilos of bacon, and get a handful of bullion cube sized bacon bites!
Density FTW! (just ask my bathroom scales!);-)

All hyperbolic humour/sarcasm aside......a 'bacon stretcher'?
That's a new one for me, first time I've encountered that one...Thanks!:-)

[1] I am the Emperor of my fantasy Universe, so I get to make

azores emmylou harris disco inferno b.i.g 1000 words ron white ron white